Ah a new year, i say who cares? It's going to be the same old thing it always is. In fact I was right, life hasn't even gotten semi better. At the beginning of the year, which has only been 21 days long, my best friend walked out of my life. Yes i mean Adam. I've been a wreck, but in the past day I've realized a great deal about myself too. A woman from my bible study gave me a book called "I've never been to Vegas but my luggage has" by Mandy Hale. It was a good read, lots of heartbreak, but also good.
So I've been writing Adam a letter, an honest one. Idk if i'll ever give it to him, but i defintely learned my biggest problem. The one i've had for 25 years, well maybe not exactly 25, we'll say 15 years. You can do the math and figure out right around middle school age, which for us was 5th grade. i want so badly to love someone and be loved in return, and guess what i had that. i had it and i messed it up, because i couldnt let him love me.
so for the next month, i will be focusing on myself, and fixing me.
and i will continue to pray for adam, whether hes never supposed to come back into my life or if he is, i will pray.
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