Saturday, January 19, 2013

No Words

it feels like i literally have no words yet my mouth just keeps going. 
its kinda like shut the hell up maggs. 

today has been a rough day. in fact we all know how much i complain and say everyday is rough, but this week wasnt that bad. today on the other hand was out of control. it all started off with having to work, which i dont mind and i honestly dont know what happened but i went off on someone and it wasnt even what you think. i was just being a cry baby and well thats that. i feel horrible about it and i have to have a talk with edie on monday and thats nothing new, im always getting in trouble. 

BUTTTTT  it did make me think. i've come a long way since who i was 5 years ago, and it is a slow process and i dont get mad all the time anymore but im used to getting my way and when i dont i get mad. then i feel terrible for a long time and apologize. then i was thinking whats the point of changing if nothing good comes out of it? i mean for real. whats the point? in my mind there is no point. so i make myself stop changing. just like with working out  it frustrates me that i've been working so hard and havent lost any weight. like i dont want to be a bulga whale. 

this entry really has no point except for me to vent in a non good writing manner and be angry and all that stupid crap. 

so thats all from me today.  

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