a look at the past

with a little over 3 months until graduation i decided to look at some old pictures from freshmen year... 

i never noticed how much i've changed not only mentally but physically too. it baffles me to look back and see everything and remember certain stuff. 

so here are some pictures. all from freshmen year. (other years to come later)

 we went to go see high school musical and decided to dress crazy and not matching.. looking back they werent as badly of mismatching as i was. the movie was okay but they were a bunch of high schoolers running around and being loud. it was annoying.

 lauren and i right after she cut my hair, it later became a tradition for us. without this girl i probably wouldnt have gotten thru my time at bethel. shes one main reason i started working out and trying to eat healthy.i love this girl to death.

kylene and i.we had some crazy fun adventures, we even nicknamed ourselves lyla and savannuh. one time we walked all the way to tiki tan just so she could go tanning.

my first time ever playing powderpuff. it was super fun and we all came out with some form of mud or a battle wound. i got hurt in the middle and i should have continued to sit out but my team needed me so i sucked it up and played hurt. 

my first ever service day as a bethel student. we went to toys for tots. it was fun. and i was glad to get to spend the morning with some of my closest friends at the time. 

 tiffany and i. :) my best friend. we once had a fight and didnt talk for months..to this day we joke about it. we had a fair share of ups and downs fresh. year.we used to always sit in her room and not talk or do anything. some of my favorite memories are with this girl.

 glory and i in chicago, for easter break. it was my first break in college that i didnt go home. and i have to say even tho we fought it was still a pretty amazing time. i would do it again in a heartbeat.

 this one time aarin, kelsea, and i skipped speech class and went to hobby lobby and michigan. i wouldnt have gotten thru speech without these two. i wish they would have continued to go to bethel after that year, but i will never forget all the amazing times we had together.





these are just a few of the many pictures i have from my freshmen year, not every single one of my friends made it on this blog post and thats okay. it doesnt make them any less important, its just that i only chose a couple pictures to put on here. freshmen year was quite a learning experience for me and its fun to look back at who i used to be.

No Words

it feels like i literally have no words yet my mouth just keeps going. 
its kinda like shut the hell up maggs. 

today has been a rough day. in fact we all know how much i complain and say everyday is rough, but this week wasnt that bad. today on the other hand was out of control. it all started off with having to work, which i dont mind and i honestly dont know what happened but i went off on someone and it wasnt even what you think. i was just being a cry baby and well thats that. i feel horrible about it and i have to have a talk with edie on monday and thats nothing new, im always getting in trouble. 

BUTTTTT  it did make me think. i've come a long way since who i was 5 years ago, and it is a slow process and i dont get mad all the time anymore but im used to getting my way and when i dont i get mad. then i feel terrible for a long time and apologize. then i was thinking whats the point of changing if nothing good comes out of it? i mean for real. whats the point? in my mind there is no point. so i make myself stop changing. just like with working out  it frustrates me that i've been working so hard and havent lost any weight. like i dont want to be a bulga whale. 

this entry really has no point except for me to vent in a non good writing manner and be angry and all that stupid crap. 

so thats all from me today.