last week i got fired from my job at camp grandview..
i made a huge mistake and now im dealing with the consequences of my actions. losing the best job i've ever had, being heartbroken, losing a person i love more than anything, has made me question quite a lot of things.
im searching for the answers, and i havent gotten anywhere.
do i go back to bethel? well yes, because i need to finish what i started and i cant quit with one year left.
do i work as a missionary after graduation? i dont know.
am i really a christian? i dont know.
am i where God wants me? i dont know.
do i want to be a christian? i dont know.
who am i? i dont know.
i feel like i have lost every single thing in my life. and why, because i decided to do something with someone who i never meant anything too.
what have i become?
LET ME TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE!
ReplyDeleteYou are the daughter of the KING OF KINGS! He loves you unconditionally... did you catch that last word- UNCONDITIONALLY! It means that no matter what the circumstance- no matter what think you might have done that you think is unlovable- GOD LOVES YOU.
Being a Christian is not dependent upon the things you have done or haven't done in the past. It's having the faith to know that you can't do it alone. You are broken. I am broken. We are dirty people, Maggie. But God doesn't see us that way. He sees us as fresh, clean, restored, forgiven children! He loves you soooooo much he sent JESUS his SON to die for your brokenness. For my brokenness. Die for anything you think is unforgivable- because He wants to hang out with you FOREVER in eternity. And yes, He knows you inside and out because He made you and that makes Him want you with Him all the more.
Where does God want you? -It's not a location, Mags. He doesn't care if you're at Grandview or PA or Bethel. The only place He wants you is walking right alongside Him. Because when your eyes look up constantly, He is your focus. He is your one true love. There is not one person that will ever come close to loving you the way God loves you. He is perfect in love. And you are fully clothed in RIGHTEOUSNESS because you are HIS KID. YOU'RE HIS BELOVED!
I'm still learning too girl. It's a process. But, please know that sin and lies from the devil can never conquer the power of your great God and Abba Father unless you let them consume you. If you feel consumed, let it out. God knows. But He wants to hear it from you. Let Him wrap His arms around you and remove the JUNK that Satan has loved putting in your head. You may never have meant anything to this kid you did something with, but GOD LOVES YOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER FOREVER AND HE CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH YOU- WHERE BROKENNESS IS NO MORE AND PAIN IS NO WHERE TO BE SEEN.
I'm always here if you want to talk.