back to the place i belong :)

in 8 short days i will be returning to the place my heart has longed to go for the past 10 months. Camp Grandview in Jasper, Georgia. :) 
when i got back from camp last august my heart had a huge hole in it, and everyone kept telling me it would go away, well wouldnt you know it, it didnt go away, it just kept getting bigger. 
so of course earlier in the year i wasnt expecting to go back to camp because i had to do an internship for my major and well of course because some of the decisions i had made last summer. 
well i had applied for an internship in CT, but that same day i applied for a counselor position at camp grandview, i didnt even realize i applied until after i applied, it was a long shot, since i didnt think i'd get rehired. 
wouldnt you know it, 18 days later i got an email saying i had the position of counselor and before thinking i accepted, before i knew if i had gotten the internship, well a couple days later the lady from the internship called me and told me i didnt get it, which of course i was fine with, it just meant i got to go to camp grandview! which made my heart whole again, only because i knew i was going back. 
while i am nervous to see demarco, im also excited to see my best friend SHAUNA KNIGHT! :) and im more than excited to be a witness to the girls that i come in contact with. it will be one amazing summer. i dont know why God wants me there but He does, and im excited to see what He has in store for me this summer. :)

 my little bug Secoriah, i really hope she comes back, because she made a huge impact in my life. :)

As school comes to an end once again

on sunday april 29th, i will be watching my class walk across the stage at graduation.. 
its bittersweet, knowing that i have to wait a year extra to put on my cap and gown and walk across the stage to receive my diploma. i'm trying to make the most out of this situation but its hard. i guess God just has more for me here at bethel. so heres hoping my super senior year is the best!  


Faith and Lauren, i miss them already. so glad i met Lauren 4 years ago and Faith last year :)

Jenn, Jess, Brittany, and Kristy..(not pictured, amy,becky, and emma) all graduating except Jenn and Becky.. my core group of friends for the past four years.. we've had some good times and bad.

searching....

Maggie, 
   why are you still looking? i'm right here, in front of  you, by your side, behind you, everywhere..why cant you see that? i love you more than you'll ever know. i wish you would believe me, Maggie your my daughter, i want you, i love you. stop fighting my hands that are holding you. you deserve so much more than you know. you are precious. seek me, love me, know that i'll never fail you. 

i love you my dear child. you ARE worth it, stop believing everyone who tells you your not, i'm telling you that you are. 

God, your father. 

aunt maggie

i am officially an aunt to a beautiful healthy little girl!

meet haylee marie heller, born feb. 16th at 5:05pm at 6 lbs, 13 ounces and 19 inches.

waiting

this is song is amazing.

truthhhhh

love this, love him..

i just got back to bethel yesterday morning, skipped the first two days of school..which im glad i did, but i have to say im not ready to be back, or more like i dont want to be here. it seems to always be like this for a few weeks, and im not really sure why. it just happens. 
break was good, except for the fights my family had, but thats always expected so i dont know why i thought it would be different.
on the train ride back i met some really awesome people. 
jennifer:: i met her first well technically second but i didnt really make a friendship with the first girl i met. lol. but because of that girl i met jennifer. she has family who lives in lancaster, but she lives in ohio..we rode 7 hours together. shes engaged, and totally nice. i can foresee us hanging out in the future. shes as short as me, and the 21. we're similar in a lot of ways.
adam:: jennifer was sat next to him. hes 24 and lives in fl but goes to school in michigan. hes realllllly smart, and a lot of fun to talk to. 
then theres neil:: the bearded man...ahh a 27 yr old park ranger from utahhhh. he originally comes from street, maryland. i had the most fun talking to him.with all our banter. :) he likes to travel alone and at this moment he is in chicago upon return to utah. and no he isnt mormon. 
dennis:: hes the oldest one of the group but he was also a lot of fun to talk to.
we talked all night, and it was one of the best train rides of my life.