I am and the lies we believe

 truth, whether you believe it or not.
I am one of a kind. I am powerful. I am talented. I am gifted. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am kind. I have unlimited potential. I can do anything i set my mind to. I'm excited about life and have a purpose to fulfill. I have a bright future. 
now the lies you believe...
i am stupid, i am ugly, i am fat, i am a slut, i am worthless, i have no future, i have no talents, i'm nothing, i'm not wanted, i can't do anything right, i'm friendless, i suck. 

i have and still do believe all these lies about myself and so many more. i always have and probably always will. yesterday in 5-star we talked about how we were born to speak like a champion. after going around the circle, my girls wanted to hear what i had to say and since they opened up to me i decided it was probably best i opened up to them about my life. as much i couldnt believe what these girls were saying about themselves they also couldnt believe i would say the same exact things about myself. my one girl Gwendolyn drew this picture for me and she had given me a hug and said she thought i was beautiful and that i was wanted by her. this picture now hangs in my room by my desk and it reminds me how much i mean to these girls even after two weeks of knowing them. i'm doing a good things with them, and i love each and every one of them and cant wait to meet with them again. not only do i get to help them but they get to help me and im so thankful for the 7 girls on my team, hears to a good year at 5-star!

oh so happy.

i get to move out of the lodge and into logan! you have no idea how happy i am about this decision. 
i miss living with these girls in logan. 

but now i'll get to live with some other pretty amazing people and im sure it will be good for me. this rooming situation was not the best and i knew that it wasnt going to be from the moment in july that my mom told me who i was living with. i dont like how the things happened with the people i live with, but im so thrilled to be getting out. i just wish it would have ended better, but honestly its no big deal to me. cuz im getting out, what i wanted from the beginning. 

 oh demarco, i miss you so dang much. will i ever get over you? highly doubtful. we talk all the time and we still plan weird things that people in relationships plan, and plus hes dating his ex again and even though i hate that i dont want to stop talking to him. but maybe i should? i dont know. i love him.